Nadhirah's

 I just curled up in my bed after waving to my boyfriend from my room. We are about 6-7 rooms away, which is quite far from each other. I can’t even see his eyes from here ahhaha it was such a pleasant few seconds of physical yet very social-distanced interaction. After a few seconds of joy, now I’m sad thinking about goodbyes so, here I am writing this entry. Today marks a month after unofficially ending degree (at least what it says in the scholarship agreement) & marks the end of the first week of quarantine. I still grieve remembering the day I was separated from my friends in New Zealand into each individual room in quarantine. Hence the reason why I don’t post it anywhere and didn’t even look back at the pictures I took a week ago. A week into quarantine, my appetite is still lost in the wonderland, really getting into colouring and starting my engine in job hunting. Nothing special. The workouts that I pledged to do, guess what, I didn’t do any but it never left my mind ...

As I promised to myself, I would try my best to write whenever I feel things, because procrastinating will only make me regret for not recording the present moment and I will tend to forget them. I’m currently 5 days away from my flight back to Malaysia and it’s 2am. It’s been a few days since I sleep at this hour because I am anxious about the current situation in Malaysia. Will I be prepared when I go home given that New Zealand is like the country that is exempted from the pandemic haha.  It’s also heartbreaking to say goodbye to Taufiq and say hello to long distance relationship, which we’ve never done for a long period of time before. The most we’ve done is 3 months, and the fact that we live 435km away from each other in this pandemic situation, 😭. Not only that, spending my two years here with my alternate sisters made it harder to say goodbye knowing that we won’t live with each other anymore. I literally tell every single thing that happened in my life to them, and that s...