Freshie experience; Spwinds

to; spwinds

*refresh memories*

ok i got it.

it was 3rd of April 2015, the first day I stepped into the band room or BR for short. it was friday. i was actually at my dorm chilling when yana came & told me to siap pakai baju kurung prep and go to br because she told kak liyana that i wanted to join the band and she said okay then come to br la. i was so shook. hahaha duhh dah lah alone. at first a few friends of mine & me myself decided to join spwinds after pt3 then it only got delayed and delayed and delayed and everyone was like "takpelah" "nevermind" " i changed my mind" maka tinggallah saya keseorangan diri dengan semangat lagi (ok maybe the spirit had faded a bit but hey i was still quite determined but if let say luck is not on my side then im fine with it) 

ok just in case you were wondering, i had been wanting to join the band since form 1 because apparently nurin (my bedmate'12) joined the band and i was interested too. besides, i had always wanted to play an instrument, specifically piano (i know, i know, it's different but still music) & plus i love listening to instrumental music. ok so here's a confession; i have no guts to join the busy life of an spwind member maka saya pun hanya mampu mendengar band dari jauh.

ok another confession, i once sneaked in my mp3 in the hall just to record some songs the band was playing, how obsessed! HAHAHAHA 

back to 2015

of course ramai tanya "kalau masuk band nak main apa?" i will say i don't know, really, i don't but i was expecting myself playing woodwinds honestly but i end up playing brass from the beginning tak macam nana dapat main kejap woodwinds kejap brass hahaha ok.... at first, i joined the french horn family. & wallahi kak fathonah garang hahaha but nice at the same time. no wonder the first time i was announced i got into the french horn family, all the f5 were like "oh it's ok fathonah baaaaaaaaaaik sangat" haha i get it now. don't get me wrong, i respected her with all my heart hahaha ok but as time flies/flew (what?) tiba tiba saya kena main trumpet ya.. oh forgot to mention when everyone was asking which instruments do i wish to play, i had none but i do have one that i wish not to play and it is ..... trumpet lmao but i redha.

i cried a lot playing the trumpet because i am very slow (slow like the snail hahaha) at picking up music lessons. i thought it was easy because i am quite a fast learner at class like maths but hell i was wrong. *inserting private memories that were sad (mostly me crying trying to get stuff but failed af*

blablabla ups and downs, in the beginning masa baru masuk honestly it sucks. me & nana were 'practicing' outside br while the rest of the band was practicing for woc. during the duration of practicing alone, we honestly didn't know what we should be practicing, what is correct and what not. main taram belasah je mampus. huhu it was sad.

months passed and i realized band members inside band room and outside are very different. it's like they have split identities. i could hate them and love them in a split of seconds really. that's how band drives you crazy. no one can really imagine how hectic, dramatic a band can be. true la what they said, only the band members will understand stuff and conflicts between them. 

one example the thing that i love & hate about band at the same time; teamwork lmao hahahaha really

bila dah masuk f5 i swear the band room & the music room can be cold, dark af because of the 'suasana tegang' but i just sit there and watch, i could say something but i wouldn't because it seems rude (yelah i was the freshie kekeke ok ni kalau members baca mesti cakap "lah, cakap je lah" ke tak...) ok wtv la then blablabla LAIMF datang, the preparation was hella tiring affffffffff but so fun really. every practice for LAIMF is something to be cherished about but there's a tinge of sadness. 

who is nana? this is nana

why the sadness? because nana couldn't join the LAIMF, i was damn sad, she was damn sad, we were both damn sad. i cried a lot because it felt harder without her. we struggled together but couldn't go to LA together which was very very sad. *teary eyes* Nana had been listening to all my rants, complaints patiently and lend her lap for me to cry on a lot of time though she was not there during practices. thank god for her existence at the hard times. *again teary eyes* Nina also helped a lot encouraging, motivating & comforting me esp when I really got bad in my mid year examination because all of my focus was literally for the band. *wipe tears* but hey i got through it. okaylah, everyone (spwinds'1216) was doing a great job leading the band despite some conflicts and whatnot. Gold for LAIMF was a great payback for all of everyone's hardwork. 

let's not talk about woc shall we...i could cry. but yo, it was quite the first time seeing nana so much in pain, crying and tak move on for weeks, really.

all in all, being a part of spwinds was a beyond-excellent kind of experience. though some people who knew spwinds from far would say "asal kau nak join band? takyah la" "tough kot kau dah la nak spm dah" , deep down my heart and soul i knew it, i knew will not just be a 'fan' (lol) of spwinds but i'm a part of it lmao boleh muntah sekarang, macam perasan pun ada, tah tah banyak haters dalam band hahahahah

thanks guys for being patient & sudi mengajar saya hahaahha

& sorry for being a pain in the neck

moral of the story; if you really want to do it, risk yourself, just do it. ups & downs are not that bad.
sepanjang menjadi member, the phrase that i kept on repeating to myself was

"tu la kau, nak masuk sangat band, padan muka, you deserve this torture, just do it for your passion sake" 

spwinds'1216