Post spm result

First of all, to me, my spm result was quite unexpected. Because two exams before i sit for spm, i only got 4As and 6As like i cerita at the post before. So dengan result sebegitu rupa, I honestly thought I would make it to 9As but I didn't expect getting As without A- is possible for me, as you see, I think I'm the queen of A-. Because mostly my results before, acah je A padahal berderet A- je hahah but whatever it is. Syukur alhamdulillah for everything.

& again, dengan result macam tu, I pernah la dream of studying overseas and all (in UK esp idk why UK is the best, the country is just nice) but then I padamkan the dream and pijak pada bumi yang nyata because of the not-that-stable economy and also there is like very little of chance for me to get a scholarship at that rate. But alhamdulillah, after dapat result, it opened up a whole lot of opportunities. and because of that, my hopes went higher again. 

When you get hight hopes, you know what happen when it didn't just go the way you wanted it right?

After result spm, mohon la punya mohon, dengan merungut (that's one mistake) because it's so leceh and banyak kerja to mohon around 8 scholarships because the requirement of documents are different sometimes. Bless my parents for buying a new printer+scanner. It had made my whole process of application lot more easier. Fast forward after application, I got emails to proceed my stage for jpamara and also Jcorp. Alhamdulillah. Interviews was da bomb. Both are fun. Making new friends are the best. (I planned on writing posts about both of the interviews, we'll see). But unfortunately, yang lain, I kinda got rejected. As for khazanah, I did proceed for the first stage. It's a miracle because I passed the application stage and proceeded to the first stage really. At first masa apply tu, I thought dapat masuk stage 1 pun dah rasa bersyukur nak mampus and all and it's ok if I didn't proceed. It's quite wrong because again, my hopes get higher when I proceeded to the first stage. Yelah, now I didn't get the email to proceed stage 2, means I got rejected. It was very painful. 

Getting rejected by scholarships are the worst. It's like getting rejected by your crush, but could be worse because money is kinda everything for education right now. 

But again, how to self-comfort when you get rejected? You redha. After you redha, then you'll be fine again. 

my result is kinda like "all access" for a lot of scholarships & it's the main reason why it hurts more getting rejected

So anyway, I got rejected by 5 scholarships provider ok. Menangis? I did. Terasa nak dengki dengan orang lain? Ada, But then, I reminded myself. Rezeki orang lain-lain. & they deserved it. so why the dengki right? It will only fill myself with hatred and negative feelings which is bad for myself and the heart. All I can do right now is bersyukur and think that behind all these stuff happening, Allah is giving me the best path I can get. 

Redha; it doesn't mean you are not sad, disappointed at all, it means you accept whatever God has given to you. and it's not wrong to cry. You just have to get back up again and move on. 

I hope whoever reading this will learn something. Cheer up! Something's better is coming for you. Before this masa I got last in class twice pun I cheered myself up by saying that there's something better coming (which is alhamdulillah, my spm result la kan). so the point is, ada masa you dekat atas, ada masa you dekat bawah. All you need to do is syukur and syukur. and be happy for everyone else and their rezeki. Don't open up a room in your heart for dengki. It will rosakkan your heart, really. Be happy for everyone. and stay humble for whatever good things happening to you. Always.